Hmmm......

I'm not very happy right now. Im in the same place I was 6 months ago, and hating it just as much. It's easier though because now I'm just indiffrent to just about anything that could happen. And I mean anything....I just look at my problems, some of which are very serious, and don't really care about anything. I look at everything like that now. This feeling of just watching my life move along at it's snail-like pace and not actually participating in it is both good and bad. On the good side of things, I don't get depressed or even think of anything sad because it doesn't matter to me anymore. It's like watching a TV show for me - "Oh that's bad/sad...I wonder what's going on over here." Repeat that and you get my day to day replay.

And the bad part of this mess is that Ive lost....something....I can't explain what it is, but it's a big something. Ive lost passion for just about everything. Sure, it may still being interesting or funny to me but it's lessened somehow by this mental wall Ive seem to unknowingly put up in the last couple of months. Well, I know it's there now.

I can sum up all my feelings into one word, one action.

*sigh*